My Newspaper Is Now The Size Of A Napkin

The Modesto Bee is not being printed locally anymore. Apparently the Keebler Elves are printing the paper in the hollows of a magical tree.

The paper can also be viewed online at www.modbee.com .

Wax The Skis... It Is Snowing!!!

The Phoenix Mars Lander has seen snowflakes falling on Mars. No word on lift ticket prices...

Google Looses $62 Billion In 4 Minutes

Google stock drops $200 because of a technical glitch. Nothing to fear as the nations economy unravels from the seams.

Unleaded $3.39

At Costco...
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Buzz Lightyear

A real life BUZZ LIGHTYEAR flew across the English Channel with a jet powered wing.

The story here.

Thought For Today

"If you think about it….what is God’s plan for making it believable that He is good?
The answer from the Bible is surprising….it turns out that we’re the plan.
And God doesn’t have another plan."

Gary Haugen
International Justice Mission

Speaking on injustice at Cornerstone Fellowship in Livermore

Mother's Milk Ice Cream?

Seriously, I am not touching this one. LINK

Officer - Pull My Finger

A West Virginia man accused of passing gas and fanning it toward a police officer.



Please enter your favorite juvenile flatulence jokes in the comment area.

Check out the small print (I highlighted in red) on the bottom of this email I got today

	Enter today for your chance to win the Lincoln MKS and other great prizes. Dear Chris, The road trip is underway, and prizes are already being won. As someone who has opted in to receive communications from BlackBerry®, we wanted to remind you that if you haven't registered for this exciting sweepstakes, there is still time. Simply visit the sweepstakes website and follow the SYNC equipped 2009 Lincoln MKS, armed with a BlackBerry® BoldTM smartphone, as it makes its way across North America. You could also win 1 of 10 BlackBerry smartphones and lots of other prizes along the way, including downloads, applications, and accessories for your BlackBerry smartphone. Plus, with every entry for these prizes you'll get an additional entry for the Grand Prize draw to win the 2009 Lincoln MKS. Visit the BlackBerry Owners Lounge sweepstakes website for the full sweepstakes Official Rules, to find out what you can win, and to enter.

Research In Motion - 295 Phillip Street - Waterloo, Ontario - Canada - N2L 3W8

©2008 Research In Motion Limited. All rights reserved. BlackBerry®, RIM®, Research In Motion®, SureType® and related trademarks, names and logos are the property of Research In Motion Limited and are registered and/or used in the U.S. and countries around the world. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER. For full Official Rules, and entry go to www.winwithblackberry.com/contest and follow the directions for entry. Sweepstakes commences on September 2, 2008 at 9:00 a.m. C.S.T. and ends 11:59 p.m. C.S.T. on October 31, 2008. Open to legal residents of the 48 states of the United States, the District of Columbia and Canada (excluding Quebec) who have reached the age of majority at the time of entry in the state (19 or older in AL and NE, 21 in MS and 18 or older in all other states), province or territory in which they reside. Canadian entrants must correctly answer a time-limited arithmetical skill-testing question in order to be eligible to win. One (1) Grand Prize of a new 2009 Lincoln MKS FWD with Vision Package (approximate retail value is US $56,900 MSRP). Ten (10) First Prizes of a BlackBerry device of the winner#s choice (up to an approximate retail value of US$600). The BlackBerry device does not include activation or usage fees required to activate and operate the device. One Hundred and Ninety-Six (196) weekly (4 # 32/week) Secondary Prizes including downloads, applications, and accessories for BlackBerry smartphones and other prizes listed in the Official Rules (approximate retail value ranging from US $6.99- $299.99 depending on the prize). Odds of winning the Grand Prize or a First Prize depend on the number of entries received through the sweepstakes period. Odds of winning a Secondary Prize depend on the number of entries received each week. Taxes and other expenses not specifically included in the prize description are the responsibility of winner. Void where prohibited. Sponsor: Research In Motion Limited, 295 Phillip Street, Waterloo, ON, Canada N2L 3W8. You have received this message by opting-in to receive news and information about BlackBerry products and services from Research In Motion Limited (RIM). To unsubscribe or changeyour subscription preferences click here. Research In Motion Limited, 295 Phillip St., Waterloo, ON, Canada, N2L 3W8. I cannot believe you have to pass a math test to be eligible to win a prize in Canada. I bet that is how they were able to learn the "metric system".

Today Is The Day

Julie and I with Lincoln Breswter.


Joel Auge and me.

Joel opened for Lincoln last night.

LINCOLN BREWSTER September 24th Turlock, CA

SOLD OUT

This is a benifit concert for Prodigal Sons and Daughters.

Unleaded $3.50 Today

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Get The Poop On 'Virtual Colonoscopy'

Sorry-link

I Was A Teenage African Girl Today.

World Vision Experience: Aids started today at New Life Christian Center in Turlock. It is free and you can reserve a time online to go through the exhibit.

It is a self paced audio tour of the life of a child in Africa that has been impacted in some way by AIDS. The story I experienced today was of Mathabo (a teenage girl). It took about 25 minutes to take the tour but the experience will last a lifetime.

If there is any way you can make to this event-DO IT! Sept 18-23 8:30am to 8:30 pm

BY THE END OF THE YEAR 20% OF HOMES WILL NOT HAVE LANDLINE TELEPHONES

My children (oldest one is ten) have never seen a rotary phone. Chances are that my children's children will never see a landline phone in a home.

Quitting Church?

Interesting reasons why some people are quitting church. link

Dow Down 504 Points

The worst point drop since 9-17-2001. That is when the market reopened after 9-11 attacks in 2001.

Modesto & Motorcycles

Modesto is an infamous motorcycle city.
The leader of the Frisco chapter of the Hell Angles Mark "Papa" Guardado was gunned down by a rival motorcycle gang member from the Modesto chapter of the Mongols Motorcycle Club.

Also some of you may know that Sonny Barger one of the leaders of the Hells Angels Oakland chapter was born in Modesto. Now in his seventies he is more of a celebrity of sorts that spends his time on book tours and making appearances.

BLT

We made BLT sandwiches for dinner tonight. We used Beefsteak tomatoes from our garden and Julie's homemade bread. Yes it had thick cut bacon, lettuce and mayo also.
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OUR ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

We are all saying something about the homeless in Turlock. In fact some of you won't stop screaming it. One person's helping hands and another person's inactivity can both be heard throughout Turlock.

So please - I am listening - what did you want to tell me about the homeless in Turlock?

OUR ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS





Life as a homeless man - modbee.com

LOOK WHO IS TURNING 50

*****SEPTEMBER 11th*****
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFF!!!

or is he 45?

PS. I had taco truck today.

www.chrislascano.com

I couldn't resist for $10.

Old Goats Visit Retirement Home

The Grotuguth Family brought some of their goats to the Seasons retirement home. My family and I met them there. We visited with the residents and helped them feed the goats (well the brave ones fed the goats). They seemed to enjoy watching the animals. The weather was perfect. It was a real nice way to spend a couple of hours.

The tip of a 1/3 inch long hour-hand on a wristwatch travels at 0.00000275 mph

Doerksen's Resort and Spa

Today we had church and a baptism service at the Doerksen's ranch. The stage was setup on one of the putting greens of the private 3 hole golf course at there home. Then we all enjoyed a barbecued lunch. It was nice to have everyone together at one service.

Although it was nearly 100 degrees today, the ranch was a very cool place to be.

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The World Vision Experience: Aids - September 18-23 NEW LIFE CHRISTIAN CENTER Turlock California***FREE***

Pastor Dave Larson and his congregation invite you to walk through an African Village as part of the World Vision Experience: Aids . It is a self guided tour that takes about 30 minutes and is FREE. This is not recommended for children under 12. You can click on the World Vision banner to make your free reservation.


New Life Christian Center
2918 W. Tuolumne Road
Turlock, CA 95380
(209) 667-5433

Medieval Castle in Snelling?

I saw this article in the New York Times about a man in the neighboring town of Snelling, CA who is building a castle. I am not sure why but this story reminds me of Noah and the ark. Perhaps it is the mental image I get of his neighbors belly laughing.

Cornerstone Covenant Church-PARTIES

Cornerstone had 2 water slides for the some 200 kids & parents that came to get wet. They also had hot dogs, cupcakes, snow cones, and chips at no cost for everyone. I met Julie and the kids after work. My kids had a blast. It was also nice to see some of our old friends. I got to talk to Pastor Kevin David for a moment and he has a heart for Cornerstone to reach the community. I think they did a nice job of that today.

There is a rumor that Fred Brenda was spotted going down a water slide in a "wife beater" tank top and homemade cutoff shorts and his hair never got messed up.

Kisses

Add Pumpkin Spice, Carmel Apple and Candy Corn to the Hershey Kiss family of flavors - well for a limited time. Julie and I put the hurt on a bag of Pumpkin Spice last night. Yum!

1% Switch To Chrome

According to StatCounter 1% of the global browsers are now Chrome . That is one day after the Google launch. My friend Mark Azevedo made the switch.

TAC0 BUS

Today I had lunch with 2 of my co worker at the Taco Bus in Turlock. Although the wheels on this bus don't go round and round. The food is good and you can eat inside the air conditioned bus.
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Turlock Melon Festival

We took the whole family to the Melon Carnival at the fair grounds today. Hey it was a good time - admission was free, parking was free, we got free melon, they had free games for the kids, cultural dancers and a parade. Plus we saw a lot of friends we have not seen in a while.

Then we went to Jeff's house and hung out for a while with his family. I could spend more Mondays like this.